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Category: Editorial

commentary, most often of a ranting sort

My New Year’s Resolutions

Posted on January 3, 2010 by Erk

by erk Yeah, I know this is a little late.  I will address that in the list below.  But before I do, I would like to mention something I have learned in the real world – the business world.  They say that when it comes to promising things, it’s meaningless without metrics.  It must have…

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My K’Nex Page

Posted on May 6, 2009 by Erk

I know my K’Nex collection cannot rival that of some.  The truth is I never purchased any for myself or my kids, and I never received any as gifts.  But I did receive a desk from some friends which happened to have some K’Nex pieces floating around inside of it.  I wasn’t really into them…

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Evolution is Getting Smarter!

Posted on March 31, 2009 by enlitened

by enlitened We of the scientific community who know the truth of evolution laugh at all the stupid heads who talk about intelligent design.  It is so obvious that oakum’s razor says that evolution must be true.  So now that that is out of the way.  Let’s talk about the wonderful evolution which will make…

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The Subjunctive Truth

Posted on February 16, 2009 by enlitened

by enlitened I have a rant to talk about.  It is the stupid people who talk all the time about what is true and what is false, what is good and what is bad.  These people are closed minded stupid heads, because they are imposing there opinions on everybody.  These are old moldy dogma witch…

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Hippies Won’t Shut Up About Hemp

Posted on December 15, 2008 by Erk

by Erk You may recall, though you may not have been alive to witness it first-hand, that a while ago there was a controversy over the necessity of physical hygiene and personal grooming.  It was a sort of counter-culture movement of very smelly, lazy and generally rebellious individuals known as hippies.  It wasn’t a movement…

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Black Friday Gasoline Conspiracy

Posted on November 24, 2008 by Erk

WARNING:  This article contains toxic levels of sarcasm.  Read at your own risk. You heard right, Black Friday Gasoline Conspiracy.  Do you think it’s just a fortunate coincidence that gas prices have dropped 50% just in time for the big sales?  Boy it sure is fortunate for all those ailing retail stores out there who…

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America: Home of the Bail-Out

Posted on October 1, 2008 by Erk

I am so upset about this constant stream of money being funneled from my pocket to corporate losers, that I am almost speechless, but not completely.  Words cannot begin to describe how miffed I am at how poorly our corporations are being run, but despite that I will try.  And that our government would sell…

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Government Rolls Out New Anti-Crime Mascots

Posted on September 29, 2008 by Loren

by Loren Jersey In a concerted effort to curb crime in inner-city schools, the government is rolling out a new education program with gritty real-life messages delivered in a no-nonsense manner by some refreshing new mascots. “McGruff the crime dog just can’t reach the kids these days,” says Owen MacPherson, head of marketing research at…

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I Am NOT a Terrorist!

Posted on September 6, 2008 by fred

by Inferno Hi, I am a senior in college at a prominent university nowhere near where you live.  I tutor some of the less fortunate students in chemistry, which is my favorite subject, and in which I have my second major.  I do some volunteer work on weekends and I love my part-time job at…

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Dear Advice 2

Posted on September 5, 2008 by Erk

Dear Sports Announcer, I am embarrassed to admit this, but lately I’ve been having trouble, you know, keeping the pilot light lit.  Even five years ago, this never would have happened.  I was a real stallion, metaphorically speaking.  Now I feel more like my little pony.  My wife says it’s no big deal, which makes…

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