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Author: Loren

Holocaust Remembrance Days

Posted on April 21, 2009 by Loren

by Loren Jersey SKOKIE, IL. — From April 19 through April 26, the United States Holocaust Memorial Museum in Washington D.C. will lead the nation in remembering the six million Jews who were murdered in the Holocaust. Observances will be held in communities, state houses, city halls, churches, and synagogues across the United States and…

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Americans Fight World Hunger

Posted on December 1, 2008 by Loren

by Loren Jersey West Hollywood Across this great nation a movement has been spreading.  A movement started by one Dredmond Bellbottom the 3rd of West Hollywood, California.  Dredmond, who has always been very active in his community, was frustrated by the roadblocks and red tape he encountered in the humanitarian programs which existed at the…

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Rift at the NIST

Posted on November 14, 2008 by Loren

by Loren Jersey the National Institute of Standards and Technology, Acoustics Scientists and Engineers at NIST came to blows Tuesday  over a proposal to redefine lameness, and how it is measured, including the introduction of a new SI unit, the Lamicle. Lameness, the degree to which something is lame, has always been measured in groans, with 1…

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Feds Crack Down on Spam

Posted on October 15, 2008 by Loren

by Loren Jersey US Authorities announced Tuesday they had completely obliterated spam. “Well, we made a dent in it at least for the short term” said FTC regional director Steve Berkowicz. Yes, you can rest assured that your inbox will be free of spam now that the FTC has broken the last and one of…

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90210 canceled?

Posted on October 3, 2008 by Loren

by Loren Jersey It seems just yesterday I was going to have to eat my words. It was as if those nutty BH9ers had actually accomplished something. They even sent me a letter praising the network and, well why don’t you read it yourself: Loren Jersey, Stupidopolis Today we ushered in a new era of…

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Government Rolls Out New Anti-Crime Mascots

Posted on September 29, 2008 by Loren

by Loren Jersey In a concerted effort to curb crime in inner-city schools, the government is rolling out a new education program with gritty real-life messages delivered in a no-nonsense manner by some refreshing new mascots. “McGruff the crime dog just can’t reach the kids these days,” says Owen MacPherson, head of marketing research at…

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Universe Destroyed, Doesn’t Realize It Yet

Posted on September 11, 2008 by Loren

by Loren Jersey So says Dr Phillip Melanchthon, professor of High Energy Nuclear Physics at Uppsala University in Stockholm, Sweden. “It is just as I have predicted.” He continued “The experiment at the Large Hadron Collider has caused a chain reaction which destroyed the entire universe.” 

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On Average the Internet is Just 3 Guys

Posted on August 25, 2008 by Loren

by Loren Jersey If you’ve been paying any attention to the Stupidopolis site news, you have read a few statistics that we were quite happy about, regardless of what Fred our dear editor has written. We average around 150 hits per month when there is new material. Google Analytics tells us that these hits come…

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On the Edge of Outsourcing

Posted on June 26, 2008 by Loren

6/26/2008 Outsourcing is the latest fad to fail in corporate America, but it needn’t be so.  The trouble with all of these fads is that they attack a symptom, but never address the root cause.  If your company has tried it, you are aware of the damage it can do.  If your company is talking…

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Feng Shuing!

Posted on June 12, 2008 by Loren

by Loren Jersey A new reality show is taking the nation by storm.  Competitive Feng Shui has got everybody talking.  The show begins with three identical stage rooms, each with several articles of furniture, plants, small sculptures and paintings just outside the rooms.  Contestants are given 10 minutes to arrange the rooms for a specific…

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