Today is not Leap Year. 2008 is a Leap Year. So stop calling today Leap Year.
Month: February 2008
My First Death Threat
1/06/2002 On my way home this evening, I happened to be approaching a truck which was preparing to turn right. Being the calm safe driver that I am (snicker), I checked my rear view mirror, and seeing that it was clear, switched lanes. From out of nowhere, this kid in a little black car raced up to…
Hello, Mr. Smiff?
Hello, Is this Mr Smiff? Hello? Is any body there? This is A1 Credit calling with your pre-approved visa card with a guaranteed low introductory interest rate, no annual fee, and balance transfers so you can consolidate your debts and pay them off at only 2.9%. All I need to do is verify that you…
Bill Elimination
Are Bills ruining your life? Do you feel overwhelmed by them? Do you wish you could just throw them into a pit and forget about them? Well wish no longer! We specialize in Bill elimination! We at Proactive Solutions Inc. have set a goal for a Bill free world by the year 2010! Let us…
Pet for Sale!
Tired of that old boring Chia pet that doesn’t do anything? How about a completely care free pet that wiggles and jiggles! Try new Rotting Flesh pets from Blammo! Rotting Flesh Pets require no watering or feeding, yet they provide so much more enjoyment! Kids can spend hours watching Rotting Flesh pets, and they learn…
Test At Home!
Are you afraid to just drive down and ask to be tested? Are you tired of losing sleep wondering if you’ll test positive? Well, now all your worries are over! Now you can perform this simple test at home! HOME EMISSIONS TEST kits can save you the needless embarrassment of multiple trips to a testing…
Research Subjects Wanted
Do you enjoy pain? Does the thought of hot iron blistering your flesh send shivers of excitement up and down your spine? If so, then we have just the thing for you here at ASMA. ASMA- the Association for Sado-Masochism in America is looking for sick minds like yours to fill its desks and shelves….
SPECIAL! ABORTED FETUSES!
We got tons of these. 1.5 million per year and growing! get yours today! They look so real. That’s because they are! Real dead human fetuses! great fun at parties! Coming soon, Fetus on a Rope! The fun never ends with dead fetuses!
Wanted to Rent
SWM,NS Professional, need apmt 10/1, sublet will do, must allow pets-I have a small boy, (neutered) $950 or less. Call after 7pm 482-555-2314
Making Millions!!
Do you want to become a millionaire? That’s a stupid question; that’s like asking if you want to breathe! Well, unless you are breathing white hot lava, the answer is “Yeah, dumbass!” Open any magazine, turn your television to any channel, and you will see millionaires, flaunting their wealth, teasing you with the attention it brings, and…