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Author: Erk

My New Year’s Resolutions

Posted on January 3, 2010 by Erk

by erk Yeah, I know this is a little late.  I will address that in the list below.  But before I do, I would like to mention something I have learned in the real world – the business world.  They say that when it comes to promising things, it’s meaningless without metrics.  It must have…

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My K’Nex Page

Posted on May 6, 2009 by Erk

I know my K’Nex collection cannot rival that of some.  The truth is I never purchased any for myself or my kids, and I never received any as gifts.  But I did receive a desk from some friends which happened to have some K’Nex pieces floating around inside of it.  I wasn’t really into them…

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Chunky Milk

Posted on March 19, 2009 by Erk

Tuesday evening I stopped at a local grocer, “Farmers’ Freshest Produce Market” or some such thing. I like to shop there because they are cheap and the food is fresh. Well, most of the time. Tuesday I needed milk. I purchased 2 gallons, one for drinkin’ and one for makin’ yogurt. When I got home,…

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I Totally Understand

Posted on January 16, 2009 by Erk

Hey buddy, don’t look so glum.  I’m sure it looks bad now, but there’s got to be a bright side to this. I want you to know that whatever you’re going though, I understand.  I know what it is like to be suffering, and I can empathize.  Well, actually, I can’t; and that is why…

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Hippies Won’t Shut Up About Hemp

Posted on December 15, 2008 by Erk

by Erk You may recall, though you may not have been alive to witness it first-hand, that a while ago there was a controversy over the necessity of physical hygiene and personal grooming.  It was a sort of counter-culture movement of very smelly, lazy and generally rebellious individuals known as hippies.  It wasn’t a movement…

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Black Friday Gasoline Conspiracy

Posted on November 24, 2008 by Erk

WARNING:  This article contains toxic levels of sarcasm.  Read at your own risk. You heard right, Black Friday Gasoline Conspiracy.  Do you think it’s just a fortunate coincidence that gas prices have dropped 50% just in time for the big sales?  Boy it sure is fortunate for all those ailing retail stores out there who…

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I Have Appendicitis

Posted on October 22, 2008 by Erk

Son, I have appendicitis, and it is slowly killing me.  The doctors say that I have at most two weeks to live.  My appendix is inflamed and will eventually burst, flooding the nearby tissue with dangerous bacteria.  There is nothing they can do.  Well, there are radical ‘surgeries’, and medications I can take, like prescription…

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OSHA and The Office

Posted on October 12, 2008 by Erk

OSHA ensures that your employer provides as safe a working environment as possible, but that is not enough to keep employees safe.  Your employer is also required to provide training and PPE (personal protection equipment) so that you can do what is required to remain safe.  This article covers some of the most dangerous office…

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All Hail Matani Shakya

Posted on October 9, 2008 by Erk

Wednesday, Nepal, Buddhist and Hindu monks in Nepal are being held on charges of child pornography and child exploitation today.  An investigation was begun late Tuesday evening following the appointment of three year old Matani Shakya as the latest incarnation of the Hindu deity Taleju.  “Taleju, is here a local goddess to Nepal, who is…

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The Universe is Retarded

Posted on October 3, 2008 by Erk

After 35 years of collecting data on the universe, Dr Carl Schmutzenheimer has concluded that the universe suffers from a severe learning disability.  “These numbers should be way higher.” Explains Carl.  “A universe of this age should be able to learn and retain information much better than this.”  When asked how he arrived at a…

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