by enlitened We of the scientific community who know the truth of evolution laugh at all the stupid heads who talk about intelligent design. It is so obvious that oakum’s razor says that evolution must be true. So now that that is out of the way. Let’s talk about the wonderful evolution which will make…
Chunky Milk
Tuesday evening I stopped at a local grocer, “Farmers’ Freshest Produce Market” or some such thing. I like to shop there because they are cheap and the food is fresh. Well, most of the time. Tuesday I needed milk. I purchased 2 gallons, one for drinkin’ and one for makin’ yogurt. When I got home,…
The Subjunctive Truth
by enlitened I have a rant to talk about. It is the stupid people who talk all the time about what is true and what is false, what is good and what is bad. These people are closed minded stupid heads, because they are imposing there opinions on everybody. These are old moldy dogma witch…
Murder History
by Simone Chillwigger I have a serious issue to talk about, and I hope that you will not censor my letter, because I am going to get very graphic. When you fully understand the depth and the scope of these atrocities, you will be compelled to write your congressman as I have. These outrages…
I Totally Understand
Hey buddy, don’t look so glum. I’m sure it looks bad now, but there’s got to be a bright side to this. I want you to know that whatever you’re going though, I understand. I know what it is like to be suffering, and I can empathize. Well, actually, I can’t; and that is why…
Welcome to the Rainbow of Stupidity
The Boxcar Oenophile
By Boxcar-Joe You don’t have to be a wine-maker or have a basement wine-cellar to be a wine connoisseur. If you’ve dreamt of bathing in a big tub filled with wine, you have what it takes. Beggars can’t be choosers, and today is no exception. On the menu is half a supersonic breakfast burrito. Our…
Hippies Won’t Shut Up About Hemp
by Erk You may recall, though you may not have been alive to witness it first-hand, that a while ago there was a controversy over the necessity of physical hygiene and personal grooming. It was a sort of counter-culture movement of very smelly, lazy and generally rebellious individuals known as hippies. It wasn’t a movement…
Americans Fight World Hunger
by Loren Jersey West Hollywood Across this great nation a movement has been spreading. A movement started by one Dredmond Bellbottom the 3rd of West Hollywood, California. Dredmond, who has always been very active in his community, was frustrated by the roadblocks and red tape he encountered in the humanitarian programs which existed at the…
Black Friday Gasoline Conspiracy
WARNING: This article contains toxic levels of sarcasm. Read at your own risk. You heard right, Black Friday Gasoline Conspiracy. Do you think it’s just a fortunate coincidence that gas prices have dropped 50% just in time for the big sales? Boy it sure is fortunate for all those ailing retail stores out there who…