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The Boxcar Oenophile

Posted on December 17, 2008 by fred

By Boxcar-Joe

You don’t have to be a wine-maker or have a basement wine-cellar to be a wine connoisseur.  If you’ve dreamt of bathing in a big tub filled with wine, you have what it takes.  Beggars can’t be choosers, and today is no exception.  On the menu is half a supersonic breakfast burrito.  Our three panelists have chosen an old favorite to pair with this spicy explosion of eggs, tater tots, cheese, sausage, jalapenos and tomatoes, a 3 liter jug of Paul Masson Burgundy. Let’s see how it fared.

 Stinky-Joe: This is a real treat of a wine, its smoky nose played with the diesel exhaust from the locomotive, and its firm tannins cut right through the cotton in my mouth, allowing the jalapenos to salsa on my tongue.  The subtle notes of cocoa and fresh loam perked up what would have been a soon forgotten meal, and I could almost hear the maracas over the clack of the rail.  I give this pairing 5 boxcars.

Thumby-Joe: A disappointing syrupy wine with an overpowering nose of moldy leaves, this burgundy complemented the cracked peppercorns, but overwhelmed the tater-tots and eggs.  It did nothing to cleanse the taste of iron and grease from my palate.  I would expect this wine to pair better with a McRibwich or a donut covered in cigarette ash, which I wish I had right now. I give this pairing 1 boxcar.

Boxcar-Joe:  The rich buttery nose of this wine softened the dry flour tortilla, giving it new life.  The nutty core mellowed the bite of the jalapenos and played well with the cold but still juicy tomato pieces.  Unfortunately the wine quickly lost its oomph, and could no longer compete with the sand in my share of the burrito.  I give this pairing 4 boxcars.

Well, overall this pairing was better than expected, as this burgundy is a heavy wine rich in tannins, but with a fruity finish. 

Average: 3 boxcars.

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