Then the men came with their chocolate and their dark words. They spoke of the end, the shoe, everything. We were scared. One of us, Arnold, tried on some pizza puffs. He hadn’t had a very long day, so we humored him. The men were not amused. We asked them about our indigenous plants. We…
Weather
“And here’s the long-range weather forecast for our area from the Channel 6 weather computer: Monday expect temperatures to take a little drop into the high ‘teens as that cold front moves in. Of course it will be even colder by the lake, but only into the low ‘teens. Tuesday will stay in the high…
The True Story of ‘Independence Day’
(Brought to you by those who brought you “The True Story of ‘Christmas’”.) (The authors of which have been acquitted of almost all charges brought against them arising from that manuscript, though they are still going to hell, we just have to figure out how to fit them into a “hand-basket”.) (Just for reference, the…
P
So it’s early in the morning and I’m sound asleep and I’m dreaming that I really have to go pee because I really have to go pee and I’m on a beach and go into one of those little changing hut/tent things I don’t know why since they don’t have toilets or anything in them…
Coughing Man Not Sick
Despite nearly coughing up a lung, Herman Nelson, an employee at Tritech in Kildeer, told his fellow employees he was not sick. The coughing was first noticed Tuesday in the restoom, where Mr. Nelson was trying to dispense paper towel to dry his hands. According to co-worker Niel Jergenson, “He attempted to reassure me between bouts…
Messages Seen During System Boot-up
RPT: Multi-Processor environment starting PR1: Processor 1 starting PR0: Processor 0 starting PR1: Hi, I’m Processor 1. I’m in charge. PR0: No, I’m Processor 0, so I’m in charge. PR2: Processor 2 taking control of system functions PR1: What do you mean by system functions? PR2: Memory, I/O, everything. PR0: No way, I’m taking control…
Miscellaneous
if poppy seeds were green one might commit you to an institution. Oh, that I would stop shrinking. This is not the toast I wanted. – Chris So I said to the guy, “if you’re gonna sell me this cow, you gotta give me some kind of guarantee that it ain’t gonna explode like those…
Why Aborshun is Right!
It sickens me to reed in the news about people who appose aborshun. They are taking away the rights of womyn all over the world when they make laws preventing them from controlling there bodies because it is every womyns right to do with her body as she pleases and these men have no idea…
Apartment Hunting
‘I’m looking for a one-bedroom with a garage.’ “Oh, a garage. We have some nice two-bedrooms with garages.” ‘No, that’s too expensive. I’m looking for a one-bedroom.’ “Oh, so you don’t want a garage?” ‘No, I do want a garage.’ “Well, we have some three-bedrooms with garages – one with a double garage.” ‘Three bedrooms!?…
Study Links Women’s Waist Size to Obesity
Get out the tape measure! Doctors reported Tuesday that women with waists of 30 inches (76 cm) or more are twice as likely to be obese than their more petite counterparts. At 38 inches (96 cm), the risk is three times higher