Tuesday evening I stopped at a local grocer, “Farmers’ Freshest Produce Market” or some such thing. I like to shop there because they are cheap and the food is fresh. Well, most of the time. Tuesday I needed milk. I purchased 2 gallons, one for drinkin’ and one for makin’ yogurt. When I got home,…
Tag: rant
Murder History
by Simone Chillwigger I have a serious issue to talk about, and I hope that you will not censor my letter, because I am going to get very graphic. When you fully understand the depth and the scope of these atrocities, you will be compelled to write your congressman as I have. These outrages…
Hippies Won’t Shut Up About Hemp
by Erk You may recall, though you may not have been alive to witness it first-hand, that a while ago there was a controversy over the necessity of physical hygiene and personal grooming. It was a sort of counter-culture movement of very smelly, lazy and generally rebellious individuals known as hippies. It wasn’t a movement…
America: Home of the Bail-Out
I am so upset about this constant stream of money being funneled from my pocket to corporate losers, that I am almost speechless, but not completely. Words cannot begin to describe how miffed I am at how poorly our corporations are being run, but despite that I will try. And that our government would sell…
How to Drive Like a Dick
Welcome to part three of my series on driving. At this point you have hopefully learned what set of rules city drivers are operating under, and why so many of them are idiots . You are now ready to study the penultimate level of driving prowess: the Dick. To drive like a dick is to be…
How to Drive Like an Idiot
There’s nothing so easy as driving like an idiot, and there’s no better teacher than driving in a big city. Idiots abound, and observing and imitating them is the the surest way to be labeled an idiot yourself. However, if you do not live in a big city, you may not have the luxury of…
End The Ribbons Campaign!
by enlitened 3/31/2008 Sorry I haven’t posted anything in awhile, but I have been busy! Plus that crap with the Scientologists really made me angry. They are pure evil, pure and simple. But I have a very important issue on my mind and I just have to get it off there. I am just sick…
2,733,690 Un-Funny Blogs, and Growing
by Loren Jersey As of today, there are 2,733,690 terribly un-funny blogs on WordPress.com, and all data point to that number increasing in the future. In the past 18 hours bloggers have added 114,364 new un-funny posts to their drab, humorless blogs. These posts, sadly, centered too often on various hygiene issues, and boys we like. Well, I personally read…
Rules for Driving in Chicago
by Erk I grew up in a small town of about 14,000 in the middle of nowhere. It was’t a suburb of anything. Our neighborhood had stop signs. There were no turn lanes; in fact, there were no lanes at all. Some of you might call it uncivilized, even barbaric, but it was home. Later…
The Angst of Obscurity
Warning! this article is not very funny! I’m depressed. by Erk As I write these words, I imagine myself tossing the finished pages out into the wind. They swirl and whip past people on the street, stick momentarily to the front of a car, and are carried up again when a truck passses, never to be…