Dear Sports Announcer, I am embarrassed to admit this, but lately I’ve been having trouble, you know, keeping the pilot light lit. Even five years ago, this never would have happened. I was a real stallion, metaphorically speaking. Now I feel more like my little pony. My wife says it’s no big deal, which makes…
Tag: sports
March Madness® ‘Fan’ Not Mad at All!
by Loren Jersey 3/20/2008 March Madness® begins today, and all across the nation, basketball fans are going crazy. All except for Harlan Dunkel that is, who according to his family, has not begun to show the slightest indication of madness. “We’re very worried by Harlan’s lack of craziness over the championship games” said his wife LaBrenda….
Extreme Sledding 101
January 6, 1999, 7:00pm. Our intrepid hero, that’s me, sets out on an exciting adventure. My new assignment: Mount Trashmore! The bigwigs down at HQ think there’s something funny going down there, and I am to infiltrate the ranks disguised as an ordinary sledder. I get into my gear, and grab my trusty alibi, a…
Skater’s Career Ends Suddenly
by Erk Olympic skater Amy Blahdavich has been skating since she was 3 years old. From a strong line of skaters, with a pedigree exceeding 5 generations, she was her family’s most hopeful entry for the 2010 winter olympics, being held in Vancouver. “I trained her for 10 years” explains her coach Maury Sutherland choking…