5-13-98 Massachusetts — Over 160,000 Engineers and Scientists have left the research and development industry to become stock brokers and private investors since last Tuesday, and this is just the beginning says economic analyst Jay Schutter. “There is a major shift in the technology sector that isn’t going to end any time soon” said Jay to reporters this morning. “What we’re seeing here is a direct result of the strides Microsoft Corp. has been making in the software sector.”
The Legal battles over Microsoft’s alleged violation of a 1995 consent decree, coupled with it’s impending global domination have driven these serious researchers from their callings. “There just isn’t any point trying to innovate or create if he [Bill Gates] just walks all over it and makes his own shallow copy of every worthwhile endeavour.” said former Stanford research student Samantha Wallace. “I’m just gonna take a few thousand and invest it in Internet stocks. Screw technology”
Frank Yu formerly of Sun Microsystems, who quit his job two months ago to begin an electronic trading company, said he just got tired of working for “a dead technology”. “We created some of the biggest innovations in software in the last five years, and where did it land us? Dead last! Nobody even remembers that Java came from Sun anymore. Now I have over $200 million, and all I do is surf the web for a few hours each day.
As this trend continues, schools and research facilities are closing all over the country. One question becomes glaringly evident as the dust settles over this epic exodus; will Microsoft be able to exist without competition from which to steal?