May 1, 1998
A smiling Bill Gates addressed reporters over 6 huge HDTV screens today after Microsoft lawyers won their appeal of Judge Johnson’s ruling of last year. Judge Johnson ruled that it was unlawful for Microsoft to tie other products into the purchase of the operating system. With that ruling out of the way, Microsoft is free to include everything, including the kitchen sink.
“We have no current plans to enter into the porcelain or stainless steel sink market,” said Mr. Gates “but you can expect the Windows 98 package to include more than just a web browser, keyboard and mouse. We have been acquiring several small office furniture and computer manufacturers over the past few weeks in anitcipation of this victory, and these products’ Microsoft replacements will gradually filter into all new computer purchases. It is time for The world to aclimatize itself to the Microsoft Campus Environment. For the Computer does not end at the Operating System, or even at the desk on which it sits. No, even the user is merely a human peripheral; and someday even that will be replaced with a Microsoft Human.”
He went on to say that the Microsoft Human concept is still in its infancy at this time, and the release date is some 18 years away, but new developments at Microsoft Genome Enterprises will shorten the time to market cycle significantly over the next two decades.
“The Buisiness Entrepneurs of the future will not even need to find employees. Microsoft will supply the complete computer user package right from the start.”