- The Weekend contains no workdays. Instances of ‘Tomorrow’ used on a Friday will automatically get mapped to ‘Monday’.
- A manager’s job is not to motivate. If you want to motivate, become a puppeteer.
- Meetings, by definition, are not productive. Trying to get things done in a meeting is like trying to wash clothes with the kids still in them.
- If you don’t hear from your subordinates every hour, it probably means they are WORKING!
- Asking people how long a task will take is always more accurate than pulling numbers out of your butt.
- A manager’s job is to remove obstacles so his workers can do their jobs. Workers won’t do their jobs = their fault, workers can’t do their jobs = manager’s fault.
- Meetings are not critical! Scheduling meetings after 4pm, during lunch, or before 9am is what is known by everyone else as being a dick.
- Scheduling more meetings to get a project back on schedule is like cutting your legs off so you can run faster.
- “Let’s go do this together” may sound to a manager like a good way to emphasize the urgency of something, but in reality you’ve only succeeded in wasting time twice as fast as normal.
- If a subordinate tells you a task will take 1 week, pestering him two days later to see if it is done yet, demonstrates your inability to manage even simple pieces of information. You should consider a career as a Wal-Mart greeter.
Category: non sequitur