Note: I was told by my editor that from now on I have to use the spell checker to rite my articles because they had to many spelling errors in them and it was being complained about by some of the readers, because they said it made the site look less processional. So I am now spell checking everything I write, but this article has a few sanctions in it that I cannot spell check or otherwise they would lose their humor. So be aware that I am not trying to be superior to you but the computer is now correcting my mistakes.
I’m not one to bow to pier pressure, but 33% of Stupidopolis readers like to spell words like hill-folk talk, witch is extremely annoying to some people, which is wrong because hill-folk are people just like me and you and have the same rights except they are ignorant and unenlightened. Even though I may be proud of the fact that I graduated from MCLA with a double major in Humanities. Because of that I am very careful to not to be proud of English because that would be wrong and racist and sexist and everything else that is wrong with being a Caucasian white. We must celebrate other cultures and languages, because being older than America, they deserve more recognition than us, and are richer and more diverse and tolerant and better than us.
Also we must consider that that reader may be from another country and is doing her best to communicate with us in our language because we are to egoistical and lazy and stupid to learn her language. So we must not judge her because she spells words that way.
But that is not why I am writing the is article. This us supposed to be a humorist article about how to write funny.
So I talked to some of the other waiters here to see what they think made something that is written funny, purely as it is written without any care for contexts. This is some of what they had to say to me about it.
Erk: Don’t loose your audience: Don’t write things so poorly that nobody else can figure out what you are trying to say. If they have to work hard ad it they will get mad and give up because funny stuff is not supposed to be hard. Nobody wants to have to read out loud to understand what is being written.
Loren Jersey: When writing an accent, less is more. Eeya iz ay proym ezampo uv ova emffasoizin an ezajeraitin an aksint in writtin fo-am. This is crap. Don’t do this. Give your readers a little credit, and assume that they can reed an accent without having it all spelled out for them phonetically. Such “clever” miss spellings of words should be limited to one or two per sentience. That way the reader does not get bogged down with the words that don’t initially make sense. To get your readers to understand that the character should be read with an accent, all you have to do is insert a few colloquialisms (?) or well known stereotypical words or phrases from that group, like “shucks”, “gammy” or “Oi”. The occasional use of these things can be much more humorous than a continuous stream of crap.
Fred: What the hell are you asking me for? This is your job. Get back to work!
DrLove: You know what I like. Sensual, suggestive word-play that captivates the reader, entices and arouses her, and then sobers her with cold hard facts. The ebb and flow of my seductive prose carries her ever higher to a rapturous crescendo of cunning linguistics.
He went on like that for half an hour. I think he objectifies womyn and that is wrong.
This spell checker didn’t have the correct spelling of womyn in it! That is an outrage! Fortunately the y allow users to add words where theory have made omissions.
I guess what we can learn from this is that there are many different ways to write funny and none of them is wrong. If you want to write in a southern drawl all the time, that is your choice and nobody can tell you that it is wrong, because there is no such thing as truth and everything is relatives.