Stupidopolis

Twice the Stupid for Twice as Little!

Menu
  • About
  • Contact
  • Forums
  • LEGAL
  • Polls
  • Quotes
  • Sample Page
  • Sponsors
Menu

Microsoft Closes its Doors

Posted on January 20, 2008 by admin

March 30, 1998

Microsoft Corporation announced today that it is closing down its operations permanently, including all of its operating system and application groups, support, and development. Bill Gates issued the following statement through his lawyers: “With the introduction of the Power Mac G3 from Apple, We simply don’t see a requirement in the market for Microsoft operating systems or applications. Of course, since I bought Apple a couple months back, I can’t complain.”Microsoft is forfeiting it’s 99.9% of the market for computer operating systems. Although Apple currently has an unmeasurable share of the market for operating systems, it is expected to increase that significantly.

When questioned about the lack of applications that run on the G3, Mr. Gates replied, “I’m sure there are plenty of applications that run on it. MS Word runs on it, I think.”

Industry analysts point out that it may, in fact, be the applications that make the difference in speed between computers running Windows and the Power Mac G3. “It’s the large number of applications that slow down the Windows machines. Apple has so few applications that it doesn’t really have that many things to slow it down. Thus, it’s faster!”

When asked what the employees of Microsoft will do, Mr. Gates pointed out that they are all billionaires and don’t need to work, though some of them will probably stay in the business manning help desks or designing web pages.

Category: Uncategorized

Leave a Reply Cancel reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *

Recent Posts

  • AEU Going Green
  • Spring Cleaning 2 – Miscellaneous Bits
  • Spring Cleaning 1 – The Old Codger
  • Spring Cleaning!
  • Stupidopolis Site News

Recent Comments

  1. enlitened on Why Aborshun is Right!
  2. gar on Why Aborshun is Right!
  3. admin on Screw the Olympics!
  4. carlene on Screw the Olympics!
  5. admin on Impacted Fecal Matter

Archives

  • April 2010
  • January 2010
  • November 2009
  • October 2009
  • May 2009
  • April 2009
  • March 2009
  • February 2009
  • January 2009
  • December 2008
  • November 2008
  • October 2008
  • September 2008
  • August 2008
  • July 2008
  • June 2008
  • May 2008
  • April 2008
  • March 2008
  • February 2008
  • January 2008

Categories

  • anecdote
  • Classified
  • Editorial
  • letters
  • non sequitur
  • shorts
  • Uncategorized
© 2025 Stupidopolis | Powered by Minimalist Blog WordPress Theme