Welcome to the fourth installment of Stupidopolis site news! We have some very exciting things to go over today, and not a lot of time, so let’s defer any questions to the end, and get right to it.
According to Google Analytics, Stupidopolis is the number one mistaken landing page! 63% of our visitors accidentally surfed to our site, and then left without clicking on anything. The good news for us is that subliminally, the name stupidopolis has been imprinted on their brains, and they may begin to dream about it, or accidentally mention it to friends! Eventually, a buzz will be created, which will reach a critical mass resulting in millions of visitors!
The bad news is that the average time spent by actual readers was 1:24 in June as opposed to 3:29 in May. Shorter articles, and less frequent posts has led to much of this decline, and I blame all of you [staff] for that. Get off your fat butts and write something funny!
In spite of our lack of material, the number of visits continues to climb, and apparently to steal visits away from our competition. In May we had 133 visits, versus 34 on competing sites, while in June we had 140 visits versus only 30 on competing sites. Ha ha ha ha! Soon we will rule the internet.
Forums have been a very popular on the web for many years, and Stupidopolis has not been blind to their success. In light of this, we are unveiling forums.stupidopolis.com in an attempt to appear to care what other people think. All our current registered members are already set up as active forum members. So please check it out, or even better, suggest a topic of discussion, cuz our lame staff hasn’t posted a single thing yet.
Obviously it has not been tested yet, so please report anything odd, or complaints to Fred, and we will address them as soon as possible.