I am so upset about this constant stream of money being funneled from my pocket to corporate losers, that I am almost speechless, but not completely. Words cannot begin to describe how miffed I am at how poorly our corporations are being run, but despite that I will try. And that our government would sell…
Author: Erk
Team Receives Virtual Atta-Boy
After months of late nights, lost weekends, and prematurely gray or receding hair, the development team for the new communication system at CommStar successfully tested their Engineering design model. “We were overjoyed,” proclaimed lead engineer Jack Wong, “Not since my wife gave birth to our son have I felt this happy.” Similar sentiments were expressed throughout the…
Dear Advice 2
Dear Sports Announcer, I am embarrassed to admit this, but lately I’ve been having trouble, you know, keeping the pilot light lit. Even five years ago, this never would have happened. I was a real stallion, metaphorically speaking. Now I feel more like my little pony. My wife says it’s no big deal, which makes…
I Know What You Did For Lunch
It was 9am, and Dick moved with purpose down the aisle from his office to the lab. As he passed the empty cubes of his subordinates he felt a grim satisfaction. They are all in the lab, he thought, and that means they are all working. But how hard are they working? And are they doing everything I told…
Gutt the Incredible
Gutt sat at his desk and watched the animated radar images of the approaching storm. It was a big one; he would have to leave early to stay ahead of it. At that thought he felt a twinge. Someone was going to try to foil his attempt to leave early. He felt it in the…
Infinite Confidence
Todd Park was tired. Not from lack of sleep, although he had tossed and turned all night. He was tired of his job. He didn’t know what he wanted to do, but he knew he had to do something else. His real name wasn’t Todd either, it was Myung-Dae, but Todd was much easier, and…
Dear Advice
DEAR SOUND TECHNICIAN: I am a happily married man in my early 40’s. My wife and I have always had fun together no matter what we did, but lately it has been getting harder to satisfy her in the bedroom. She says it’s not me, and although I am losing a bit of my hair,…
Maintenance Guy Replaced
Tenants at 832 Seward received an alarming notice at 4pm Central Standard Time indicating that effective immediately, Vasile Tiplea was no longer the maintenance man for the building in question. The circumstance of his replacement were not revealed, but the memo went on to say that Eddie Vonservia would take over maintenance duties at the…
Organic Pet Rocks!
Stop destroying the environment by supporting the processing and sales of hormone and pesticide laden pet rocks. Purchase organic rocks hand selected in a renewable an sustainable fashion without destroying the rainforest or clubbing baby seals! Remember, if it doesn’t say organic, you’re murdering the earth!
Chicken Spaghetti Thief
I was recently discussing inventions with a co-worker of mine when he suggested that I Google the description to see if the product already existed. “Oh no,” I said “they steal ideas from people. I don’t do that anymore!” He seemed confused, so I explained; search engines have been aware of this for years. They…